Reality Check

Good morning or is that good afternoon,
Doesn't really matter, I am just so proud of myself for making it back here so soon.

So reality is setting in, sigh, the wolf officially signed his contract to go back to Kandahar. He seems to think that his deployment will be easier on me this time... heh... nope... news flash....
Wolf leaves in 5 weeks, the water works have already started, but never in front of him. OH good lord, never in front of him... and they always hit at the weirdest times....

I was on my way to work yesterday morning and going through timmies at 5:30 a.m. (which that time on a sunday morning is depressing enough) and I order my extra large black double cupped and suddenly ..... out of nowhere, the tears started and I thought... ok... he will be home in the spring...but I had a hell of a time trying to get them to stop.

Today..... I am in Loblaws picking up a few of my favorite comfort foods... and I reach for a jar of olives and suddenly... the tap is turned on...I pulled my sunglasses down.... sniffled and fought until I got back to the car... and thought, now how ridiculous is this, I still have 5 weeks.

I went into a computer store to price shop for a laptop for the Wolf for christmas. I was fine and then the salesman says, "Are you alright?"... "Ah, ya.... umm... why", I reply with a look of bewilderment. Thinking, like, is there a booger hanging off the end of my nose or something.
He looks at me as if I have 3 heads and 6 eyeballs and says," Your crying". One long tear going down the side of my face. I asked how long the sale was on for and I might be back..... ok... now I can't even tell if I am crying anymore.

I get home and think maybe if I think of happy things, I can control this silly reaction. I start researching things to do for New Years after all, the wolf leaves 5 days later.... and wouldn't you know it... uh huh... water works.

So then I think, maybe writing about it, will get this ridiculousness out of my system. Well nope, sitting here writing this, I am watery. Maybe this is my subconcious way of letting go... preparing myself for when he is gone...I don't know, but I certainly do miss him already.

Maybe food will help!
Ciao for now.